A significant theme in All The Living is the lack of things, such as prosperity, love, and satisfaction. The lack of substance in the relationship between Aloma and Orren, however, is perhaps the most significant motif in the novel. The inadequacy in their relationship can be attributed to many things, but more notably Aloma's lonesome childhood and the absence of love in her life.
Aloma grew up as an orphan, so she never truly learned what it means to love or to be loved. Raised by her aunt and uncle, Aloma never felt the loss of her parents. She was even complacent after her aunt and uncle had sent her away to missionary school because she never had someone or something that she loved enough to be hurt by its loss. By growing up in the absence of love, Aloma had "tried to invent the feeling of loss inside her. But like the dead, the feeling simply wasn't there. It was not that her uncle and aunt filled up the space that her parents vacated; it was just that the empty space was fine as it was and no more hurtful than being born with four finger on one hand instead of five" (104). Clearly Aloma isn't significantly affected by the lack of parental figures, and she even compares it to being born with an abnormality which is her norm. Orren, however, is much more poignant when he loses his mother and brother. After their passing, he becomes increasingly dismal and this is evident in his interactions with Aloma, as well. He stops showing affection to Aloma and she begins initiating sex with him because she believes this to be the solution to intimacy. Obviously Orren is affected by the passing of his family and Aloma is blind to the implications of this.
By having a lackluster childhood, Aloma grows up to be disengaged from the true meaning of love: she doesn't feel for the loss of her parents and she doesn't feel for the loss of Orren's family either. Orren, however, is different in that he expresses his emotions and is visibly affected by the passing of his mother and brother. This, combined with Aloma's innocence to what love truly is and what it means to be loved provides for an inadequate relationship and one susceptible to middle-aged pastors.
Aloma grew up as an orphan, so she never truly learned what it means to love or to be loved. Raised by her aunt and uncle, Aloma never felt the loss of her parents. She was even complacent after her aunt and uncle had sent her away to missionary school because she never had someone or something that she loved enough to be hurt by its loss. By growing up in the absence of love, Aloma had "tried to invent the feeling of loss inside her. But like the dead, the feeling simply wasn't there. It was not that her uncle and aunt filled up the space that her parents vacated; it was just that the empty space was fine as it was and no more hurtful than being born with four finger on one hand instead of five" (104). Clearly Aloma isn't significantly affected by the lack of parental figures, and she even compares it to being born with an abnormality which is her norm. Orren, however, is much more poignant when he loses his mother and brother. After their passing, he becomes increasingly dismal and this is evident in his interactions with Aloma, as well. He stops showing affection to Aloma and she begins initiating sex with him because she believes this to be the solution to intimacy. Obviously Orren is affected by the passing of his family and Aloma is blind to the implications of this.
By having a lackluster childhood, Aloma grows up to be disengaged from the true meaning of love: she doesn't feel for the loss of her parents and she doesn't feel for the loss of Orren's family either. Orren, however, is different in that he expresses his emotions and is visibly affected by the passing of his mother and brother. This, combined with Aloma's innocence to what love truly is and what it means to be loved provides for an inadequate relationship and one susceptible to middle-aged pastors.
The actions completed by both Aloma and Orren highlight the true difference that can occur when parental love is removed. Aloma, having never felt an unconditional sense of attention and love, does not feel the need to patch a hole in her heart like Orren does, which causes a gap between them. Although they are similar in the fact that they are orphans, their feelings toward their parents differed greatly, and, for that reason, their relationship seems to turn exclusively to one sexual in nature. Due to Aloma’s lack of love, she is unable to differentiate between a relationship that truly triumphs and encompasses the entire scope that a relationship requires, and a relationship that results in toxicity and an overall detrimental conclusion for both afflicted parties. And, as a result of Orren’s grieving process, he is unable to channel his emotions except to use Aloma to fill a sense of void he developed from his parents. His seemingly selfish actions, such as his inability to truly understand Aloma’s interest in piano playing, are just an attempt at overcoming his sadness. He fails at his duty of being Aloma’s lover and at his ability to overcome his family’s loss, resulting in him feeling ultimately alone after his relationships are broken.
ReplyDeleteI agree entirely with your initial post as well as Kati’s response. Having grown up with little to lean on, Aloma is a decidedly self-centered character. I make this statement not to say that she is selfish, but that by growing up under such lonesome conditions it is harder for her to reach outside of herself. As such, she turns inward and focuses more on her personal aspiration of becoming a successful piano player. This fuels the conflict with her time commitments at the church versus her time spent at home with Orren, as she eventually leaves to play piano at the church “more than four times a week” (99). This escape is only natural considering that piano was her only piece of solace growing up and her only true passion. With that in mind, she feels in a place of familiarity at the instrument, because it grants her a “fearsome control of herself” (78). Coupling her early fascination with piano and her natural independence, it makes sense that relies so heavily on playing music to whisk her away from her newfound dependence on Orren. However, I believe that is simply a result of her upbringing and her situation rather than a reflection of her own character.
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